Funny Shit My Kids Say
I decided to take a light-hearted look at all the off-the-wall shit Ben & my nephew have said that sticks out in my mind to kick off Fun Friday. I hope that the "S" word hasn't offended anyone, but quite frankly, I curse like a sailor and have tried to keep it clean thus far, so, um, yeah. Deal with it- it's just a word!
- "Cleaning house is woman's work"! -Ben to me when I asked him to help me clean his room (I have NO CLUE when he decided to become so chauvinistic- he's not raised that way)!?!?
- "Mom! There's little balls inside there"! -my nephew at age 2 1/2 in the bathtub, when he discovered his testicles!!
- "Moooommmmm" Ben screams one Easter, "Will's pooping in the backyard"
- "I just can't help it, I'm still jealous of his Lego's mom; and it's all your fault"! - what Ben told me last night after his cousin's birthday party.
- "Well, the teacher said I could bring my Ninjago men to school to play with.....for real, mom" -what Ben said when I caught him with Lego's IN HIS SHOES!!!
- "Can I have some dollars"? -Ben (very serious) to my brother
Hahaha....these kids, they sure are funny! I'm gonna keep the theme going and below are a few moments that I've had as an aunt and as a mom - the good, the bad and the ugly.
I've been an aunt for about 12yrs now and a mommy for 7. Those boys have certainly done some funny/weird/down-right-bad things over the years. Here are a few that stick out in my head:
- I used to take my older nephew Xmas shopping at Goodwill and Dollar stores for funny gag gifts, the last year I took him, Ben was a baby, here's why: He STOLE!!! Now, what was soooo great that he had to steal, you ask? Rubber Fucking Bands!! A huge handful from the worker's cart full of tags, prices rubber bands....don't ask WHY, but I sure did make him take them back in, all crying and blubbery faced! That was the last time we went Christmas shopping!
- Ben was two, I believe, when I was working one afternoon when my classroom door swung open, Ben's teacher comes in holding Ben by one hand and she had something in the other hand....it was undies.....filled with poop.....Ben thought it would be mighty funny to poop his pants during circle time! Then just sit in it!!
- While running down a steep ditch, yelling at his buddy that "ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...you fell down", Ben trips over his own feet and does a face plant! Karma's a bitch, even when you're 7!
- My 9 year old nephew this year at Halloween, wanted Ben and himself to dress in suits and carry small jewelry boxes with diamonds and necklaces in it and go as Jason & Todd of the Diamond District (a jewelry store down here who POUND their commercials into your brain). He wanted me to paint my face brown and go as OOOOOprah!!! (he says this to me in his best "Oprah" voice)....too funny!
- The time when my oldest nephew was 1 1/2 (he spoke very good), he woke me up by whispering about 2 inches from my face, "Aunt Kate, wake up.....you said you'd play with me".............it was 4:30am!!! Guess who got up and played?!?! That's right, number 1 Aunt!!
I saved the best for last, it involves (of course) BEN!!!
- Ben was about 2 years old - a young 2. He and I were laying down on the couch to watch Sponge Bob and (hopefully) take a nap. I wake up to Karl coming in through the back door, shouting "Oh my God, kid! What are you doing"?!?! I spring up from the couch to see what's happened. Ben had NOT fallen asleep, like mommy did and decided that HE was gonna change his own diaper....complete with diaper rash cream. He climbed onto the bathroom counter and got into the medicine cabinet for the desitin. Well, being 2 years old, he only knew it came in the blue tube......similar to the blue tube my FACE MASK comes in! He smeared the face mask all over his butt and his little thingy! It was a pore-reducing, acne mask! It was beginning to harden up and tighten up! He had to get a shower and I had to scrub that damn mask off his twig and berries! It was totally funny, but I learned, NEVER fall asleep while your kid's going through the terrible two's!
YouTube Channel Uploads, Time Change, My Weekend Plans, Etc.
I want to share my video uploads from my YouTube Channel. I only have two posted so far, but they're both really cute and I think you should subscribe! The more subscribers, the more uploads I'll do.....on anything you want! Cooking, beauty, kid tips, decor, my adventures.....you name it, I'll post it! Here is the link to my channel: www.youtube.com/user/mizzkatiebug77 I'm serious, check it out! I'm gonna try to incorporate my channel into the blog, I'm sure there's a way to sync them up together.....hmmmmm......more on this later!
Like I said earlier, this post was just a quick one, not too much to report today. I have a super-duper exciting week lined up and ready to go for next week. This weekend's the end of Daylight Savings Time! Don't forget to turn your clocks back at 2am on Sunday! So everyone gets an extra hour of sleep this weekend!
What's your plans this weekend? We have no plans, nowhere to go, nothing to do! I AM, of course, going to be taking down the Halloween decor and replacing the spooky things for turkeys, Pilgrims, Indians and lots of Indian corn and squashes! We'll probably take Ben to the park or maybe to Target or Walmart (his two fave places). Send pics of your weekend adventures and I'll post 'em!
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Peace, Love & Light